Soulful Sunday – Christmas 2018 and New Year 2019

new year

It’s been a busy year, and it’s ending on a busy note.

For the last week I’ve been buried in books reading for one of my English literature assignments, which, honestly, I wish I’d started reading for a few weeks ago. Another lesson learned.

The entire year has been a steep learning curve, and that’s not an entirely bad thing.

Christmas

Christmas has been a difficult time for me for the last few years, for a variety of reasons, so I don’t engage with the festivities much. I remember happy times as a young child, but all those memories do these days is make me sad.

This year, a part of what Christmas should be touched me completely unexpectedly.

I received three gifts, all unexpected, and all given from a true sense of generosity. This is the first year I’ve really experienced the true sense of Christmas, feeling like it isn’t simply a set of traditions that has to be kept almost for their own sake. It’s been a pleasant revelation.

New Year

This year has been a challenge. I’ve had disappointments, and I’ve achieved things I never thought I could. A roller-coaster of a year

There are many things I will be glad to leave behind in 2018, and some I hope won’t follow me into 2019. One of the biggest is not writing. Without it, I’ve felt like I haven’t really been me. I’ve been reading, definitely, and I’m so happy when I look at my Goodreads list from this year and see 52 books finished! That feels like me. But I’ve barely done any writing, and what I have done I’ve rushed – I know I can do better.

I want to get back to writing regularly, and writing better in 2019, to get back to being truly me: reading, writing, dreaming big. I feel like I’ve lost that a bit this year, drowning in academics and university. While that is definitely still important to me, so is my writing, in all its varied forms.

I have an idea of the person I want to be, the things I want to be doing with my life, and it frustrates me that I’m not there yet. It’s sometimes hard to see the tiny steps we take everyday, and I try to remember the distance I’ve come in the last two years. But I often feel that there is so much more I could be doing to get myself there.

That’s my real resolution and goal for 2019, to take action every day, even if it is a tiny step, to get closer to that image of myself.

I hope you’ve had a happy Christmas and have a wonderful New Year. 🙂

~ Viki

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